Smoke all you want. It's bad for you but you're gonna die anyway. What do you mean you sleep better when your husband is away? Does he snore? I personally hate sleeping in the same bed with my mother, she is always grunting and muttering and being her annoying self...I'm telling you I have come this close(my fingers are less than a millimeter apart) to murdering her and blaming it on my sister. So I usually avoid it. Hey, maybe you should think about seperate bedrooms? Or a divorce? Sorry if I'm being too forward, feel free to curse or ignore me(after all what do I know??). I'm just saying this cause you seemed kind of depressed.
Seriously, I'm sorry if this offends you in anyway. I'm young and dumb.

Welcome to blogland and i am glad your enjoying the peace and quiet, I like music as well but dont get to listen to much nowadays my partner likes her soaps too much As for 20 years treading on eggshells i know that feeling very well being 12 years younger than my partner the paranoid and jealousy can kill relationships very hard, but in this community i have made some very good friends and have had a lot of support. So drop buy anytime for a chat or a moan or even just a laugh, never feel your alone and never feel trapped. Hope you enjoy the peace Take care

soooo u seem a little like a person i know .......my mother.she very depressed sometimes and drinks a bottle of wine and smokes a couple of ciggs.any way i hate it and i know im not much help butt stop smokeing its horrable for u and the people around u.ohhhhhhhh almost forgot try doing yoga or something relaxing......if u can hope i helped....mabey just a little........p.s,i am a horrible speller,sorry.